How its STRONGER THAN WE ARE - or even THE LOVE OUR DRINKER HAS FOR US.
Its hard to grasp that our problem drinker DOES LOVE US STILL, but now, the alcohol comes first. That's awful to realise, but its what happens.
Once alcohol takes a grip of someone's mind, it starts to control them. We often think that we are living with a different person - I certainly did - when my wife was drinking. She became someone completely different to her usual self, and I hated the change. I used to long for 'my girl' to come back.
Alcohol wreaks so much damage that it has become regarded as a DISEASE OF THE MIND.
The World Health Organisation certainly classifies it as a disease, and it affects millions throughout the world.
Now here is an important point:
If Alcoholism is a disease, then
I HAVE TO TREAT MY DRINKER AS IF HE/SHE WERE ILL
Think about this:
If my drinker suffered instead from, say Multiple Sclerosis, would I get mad at him or her????
So we have to learn NOT TO GET MAD AT OUR DRINKER.
He or She is UNWELL - very unwell.
Realising this, we can begin to have empathy for their position - they are in the grip of of sinister, powerful and baffling mental disease.
They need a lot of help from AA - but it may take time for them to realise how deeply in trouble they are, before they reach out for help.
Meanwhile, we have to have empathy and start to look after ourselves. We CANNOT HELP them at this stage. Except by not getting angry with them - they are sick.
I suggest that you look back over some of the earlier posts about caring for oneself.
And remember - you are not alone in this. Many of us have been where you now are.
I wish you peace in your mind this week.
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