I FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE I ABUSE MY DRINKER

This happens because we get so angry at what the drinker is doing - destroying our lives - that it seems only natural to rant and rave at him/her, or even worse. We feel justified in giving them "a hard time" - because look at what they are doing to us!!

That's what we may think.

But all that happens is - venting our anger on the drinker only

 GIVES HIM A REASON TO DRINK MORE!

To escape from the constant haranguing, shouting, arguing, putting down, belittling, abusing, swearing at, or even worse things that in our rage, we do.

We have to try something different - for our own peace of mind as well as the drinker.

Consider:

• Your drinker is in the grip of a powerful drug, which is controlling his/her mind so much that it has become a DISEASE of the mind: ALCOHOLISM.
• There is NO  CURE  FOR  ALCOHOLISM 
• All an alchoholic can do to escape the terrible plight they are in is to STOP  DRINKING
• This will be the most difficult thing they will probably ever have to do, to stop drinking.
• Some make it, some do not.
• They are SICK.

What WE have to learn to do is:

• Have some COMPASSION - they are sick  : it could be cancer for example
• Stop picking on them
• Instead - think about how WE ARE GOING TO LOOK AFTER OURSELVES
  
  Its hard, BUT WE CAN DO NOTHING TO STOP THEM DRINKING.
  
  Learn to FOCUS ON OUR NEEDS - WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE OUR LIFE WITH THE ALCOHOLIC MORE BEARABLE??
  
  If we can learn to do this, often the drinker will start to wonder why they are drinking, because YOU are no longer the cause of their misery.
  
  Try this and see what happens.  Give it a good try.  It takes time to learn to do what I have suggested.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE???