You may say to yourself - why do I need help??? I'm not the one drinking!!
I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!
I have to tell you - YES YOU ARE! YOU DO HAVE A PROBLEM!
YOU are in love, or caring for, a sick person who is now controlled by a sinister, cunning and baffling disease which controls the mind - Alcoholism.
Your drinker is probably blissfully unaware that they have a problem at all - but YOU know they have a problem!
You are the one suffering - cancelling invitations, wiping up the mess, making excuses, trying to hide the SHAME of it all. And probably - you are all alone. You can't tell anyone, you are ashamed of what's happening in your house, you tell lies to cover things up, struggle to make ends meet when most of the money goes on booze.
Can you SEE THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM now?
The thing is - it is extremely difficult to find a way to live with all this using your own instincts. Often what we have to do is not intuitive - we have to do things that are different perhaps.
It is only in Al-Anon Family Groups that we find the distilled knowledge of people who have lived with alcoholism and survived, and gone on to better lives, even if the drinker still drinks or not.
Al-Anon is run by people like us - people living with alcoholism. And their knowledge and wisdom is what we find in the Al-Anon meetings.
As I said last week - GIVE AL-ANON A TRY, AS I DID, and find effective help.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Sunday, January 26, 2014
WHERE DO YOU GET HELP???
Loving and trying to live with an active drinker is a hard, lonely life. One may soon lose friends and have no-one to talk to who understands your situation. We mostly try to cover it all up and isolate ourselves.
That's what I did. I felt so ashamed of all the things that were happening, and of my angry feelings too.
Where I found help that worked was at - AL-ANON FAMILY GROUP MEETINGS.
You have probably never heard of Al-Anon, but I bet you have heard of AA - Alcoholics Anonymous.
Al-Anon is for the RELATIVES and FRIENDS of Alcoholics, and uses the same effective program of recovery as AA does. It was set up for families of alcoholics over 60 years ago.
You don't hear of AL-Anon because we do not advertise. We send information out into the community and hope those that need us find us.
SO WHAT IS AL-ANON?
At a weekly Al-Anon family group meeting you will find NO PROFESSIONALS, no counsellors, no trained therapists, and no fees.
You WILL find people like you and me, people who have suffered from someone else's drinking and found help at Al-Anon meetings.
The people at an Al-Anon meeting will UNDERSTAND YOU because - we have been where you are now. We know what it's like.
We share our experiences and this is how we help each other - we learn from each other and read Al-Anon literature. Even the Al-Anon literature has been written by people living with alcoholics, not university graduates. People from around the world like you and me. Yes I still go to Al-Anon meetings. Because it teaches a lovely way to live, even after the alcoholic may have stopped drinking, as my wife has.
We are self supporting by our own VOLUNTARY donations - so if you are broke, you can still attend meetings.
Look at the latter HELP pages and find if there is an Al-Anon meeting near you. Al-Anon has meetings in most countries around the world.
Have a look. Take a definite step to get some help.
You will rarely be able to cope for long on your own.
Try it.
That's what I did. I felt so ashamed of all the things that were happening, and of my angry feelings too.
Where I found help that worked was at - AL-ANON FAMILY GROUP MEETINGS.
You have probably never heard of Al-Anon, but I bet you have heard of AA - Alcoholics Anonymous.
Al-Anon is for the RELATIVES and FRIENDS of Alcoholics, and uses the same effective program of recovery as AA does. It was set up for families of alcoholics over 60 years ago.
You don't hear of AL-Anon because we do not advertise. We send information out into the community and hope those that need us find us.
SO WHAT IS AL-ANON?
At a weekly Al-Anon family group meeting you will find NO PROFESSIONALS, no counsellors, no trained therapists, and no fees.
You WILL find people like you and me, people who have suffered from someone else's drinking and found help at Al-Anon meetings.
The people at an Al-Anon meeting will UNDERSTAND YOU because - we have been where you are now. We know what it's like.
We share our experiences and this is how we help each other - we learn from each other and read Al-Anon literature. Even the Al-Anon literature has been written by people living with alcoholics, not university graduates. People from around the world like you and me. Yes I still go to Al-Anon meetings. Because it teaches a lovely way to live, even after the alcoholic may have stopped drinking, as my wife has.
We are self supporting by our own VOLUNTARY donations - so if you are broke, you can still attend meetings.
Look at the latter HELP pages and find if there is an Al-Anon meeting near you. Al-Anon has meetings in most countries around the world.
Have a look. Take a definite step to get some help.
You will rarely be able to cope for long on your own.
Try it.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
WHY CAN'T THEY STOP DRINKING??
You may well ask yourself, as I did: IF THEY LOVE ME, WHY CAN'T THEY GIVE UP THE DRINKING?
When we turn to AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS as I did (in desperation - nothing else worked) I found the answer:
It's not that they DON'T love us - they DO.
It's because ALCOHOL is STRONGER THAN THEIR LOVE FOR US.
We who can control our drinking, do not realise how the drug alcohol has taken control of the mind of our loved one.
It controls their mind now, the only thing, once they pick up that first drink, is where is my next drink coming from?
Their mind is in the grip of a powerful drug - ALCOHOL. Now, nothing else matters. Not you, the kids, the job, the bills, the rent, how they look, NOTHING MATTERS - EXCEPT ALCOHOL.
WHAT CAN WE DO??
SEEK HELP. You most likely will not cope with this on your own. I couldn't. I only found help when I turned to my local Al-Anon Family Group.
There I found people who were, or had, suffered as I was and UNDERSTOOD my problems.
The Al-Anon literature I found to be most helpful in explaining how my loved one was being controlled by alcohol and what I could do about it.
SEEK HELP. YOU CANNOT STOP THE DRINKING.
You have to learn to survive until hopefully, your drinker finds a REASON to stop drinking.
Until then you have to stay sane - check out AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS.
SEE the HELP PAGES For contact details around the world.
Look up your local Telephone directory. Check it out on the Net.
But Look please - it's the fastest way to sanity and recovery - FOR YOU!
When we turn to AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS as I did (in desperation - nothing else worked) I found the answer:
It's not that they DON'T love us - they DO.
It's because ALCOHOL is STRONGER THAN THEIR LOVE FOR US.
We who can control our drinking, do not realise how the drug alcohol has taken control of the mind of our loved one.
It controls their mind now, the only thing, once they pick up that first drink, is where is my next drink coming from?
Their mind is in the grip of a powerful drug - ALCOHOL. Now, nothing else matters. Not you, the kids, the job, the bills, the rent, how they look, NOTHING MATTERS - EXCEPT ALCOHOL.
WHAT CAN WE DO??
SEEK HELP. You most likely will not cope with this on your own. I couldn't. I only found help when I turned to my local Al-Anon Family Group.
There I found people who were, or had, suffered as I was and UNDERSTOOD my problems.
The Al-Anon literature I found to be most helpful in explaining how my loved one was being controlled by alcohol and what I could do about it.
SEEK HELP. YOU CANNOT STOP THE DRINKING.
You have to learn to survive until hopefully, your drinker finds a REASON to stop drinking.
Until then you have to stay sane - check out AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS.
SEE the HELP PAGES For contact details around the world.
Look up your local Telephone directory. Check it out on the Net.
But Look please - it's the fastest way to sanity and recovery - FOR YOU!
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