WON'T THEY STOP IF THEY LOVE ME?

If you are living with an active alcohol abuser, have you wondered: If the drinker really loves me, why doesn't he/she just STOP?  Or maybe: Doesn't the drinker KNOW what damage they are causing to me and our relationship?  Or even:  How can they love me and still inflict all this grief and shame?

We who have lived with an active alcohol abuser have all asked these questions when we were being hurt day in, day out by the drinker's behaviour.

Later on as we learn about how alcohol progressively takes charge of the drinker's mind, we realise several things:

• alcohol is a strong drug and can cause changes in some people's minds
• it is classified as a serious health problem by the World Health Organisation
• the drinker's only thought can become: "How do I get the next drink?" and nothing else matters
• sometimes the drinker could not stop drinking, without help, even if they wanted to.

In fact the alcohol abuser can become totally oblivious to anyone or anything else, being totally focused on the need to keep drinking.  They are then controlled by the alcohol, and will do anything to get a drink.

This is why they may say, in sober moments, that they love us dearly, and really mean it, but once the first drink is picked up, then we fade into the background once more.

So it's not that they HATE us or are trying to PUNISH us, it's simply that their mind is consumed with finding the next drink.  They become different people when drunk.

So in fact, we can see that they are really sick people, and as such need our sympathy, even though that may be hard to do.  Alcoholism is believed by many authorities, eg. The Mayo Clinic, to be a disease of the mind, so really we should look with empathy upon the drinker just as if they had say, cancer.

So to help you find some answers to this situation, the main purpose of this blog is to present the "HELP PAGES" on the right, as they will show how I was able to get help and find my way to a better life.