MOVING ON EMOTIONALLY

For the past few posts we have been talking about the emotions we go through when we live with an active alcohol abuser.

This series of feelings many of us go through are:

DISBELIEF > DENIAL > ANGER > BITTERNESS > RESENTMENT > SADNESS >  COMPASSION > FORGIVENESS > LOVE.

If you have not read my previous posts covering this process, please read them now.

So, what use is it knowing where along the continuum of the process we are?

What use is it to realise we are stuck on say Resentment.

Well here is a way you CAN USE this information.

When you find yourself with feelings at one of the stages above - 

YOU  CAN  READ  UP  ABOUT  THAT  STAGE or EMOTION

So, if you find yourself feeling say ANGRY or RESENTFUL - read about it:

• Look at my previous posts - see if I have written about it
• Look on the Net for articles on the subject
• Buy a book on the subject, or go to your Library
  

The point is - FIND  OUT  ABOUT  WHAT  YOU  ARE  FEELING  AND  LOOK  FOR  WAYS  TO COPE WITH  IT.

YOU  DO  NOT  HAVE  TO  BE  STUCK  WITH  SOME  UNHEALTHY  EMOTION - By study you can move past it.

YOU  DO  NOT  HAVE  TO  BE  ANGRY  or  RESENTFUL  for the rest of your days!

Remember:  it is only harming YOU when you hold unhealthy emotions like Anger, Resentment or even feeling like a Victim.

You CAN do something about it!

We have been looking at the series of emotions we seem to go through when we live with an alcohol abuser,
and they are:

DISBELIEF > DENIAL > ANGER > BITTERNESS > RESENTMENT > SADNESS >  COMPASSION > FORGIVENESS > LOVE.

And today we will look at "Coming out of the dark tunnel" - FORGIVENESS

If we have been working through these feelings and now can feel some COMPASSION for the plight of our drinker, soon we can think of FORGIVING THEM for all they have done.

If we realise that their brain is now being controlled by the drug ALCOHOL we can realise too that they have lost control of their life.  ALCOHOL is now running their life.

Perhaps the biggest challenge in life faced by your drinker will be : To STOP DRINKING.  This is very difficult for most drinkers and really, they will mostly need the help of AA to do it.

Maybe now we can start to see the situation differently - they cannot help what they are doing, they being controlled by Alcohol.  Perhaps we can feel PITY for them at this time.

What many of us have learned is to overcome ANGER and RESENTMENT we have to try to:

FORGIVE  THEM

Yes, try to FORGIVE the drinker for drinking, for all the harm they have done, for all the bad things that have happened.

WHY?

Because:  HOLDING ONTO OUR ANGER AND RESENTMENT ONLY HURTS US!

WE are the ones that will suffer if we hold onto grudges, resentment or anger - these negative emotions will do physiological harm to our bodies if we do it long enough.

There is no peace of mind if you hold anger, resentment, a grudge, blame.

TO HAVE ANY SORT OF MEANINGFUL LIFE WE HAVE TO LET GO OF ANGER.

THE ONLY WAY WE CAN COPE IS TO FIND SOME PEACE IN OUR LIVES DESPITE WHAT THE DRINKER IS DOING.

I have shown you one way yo find some peace in your life.

Please think about the HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS.....