Previously I covered the Al-Anon way of Detaching from the Drinking, not the Drinker. Trying this and seeing the positive changes in your family is the best way to see that the Al-Anon approach really WORKS.
But hang on, you may be thinking, "Didn't I start this to find out how to stop my partner drinking???? Why am I the only one that has to do something???? What about my drinker???
Yes you did hope to find a way to stop the drinking, like all the rest of us, and tried all the angry actions mentioned in the list on the first page - but it didn't work, did it??
In fact you should now realise that you can do NOTHING to change the drinker's mind at all, can you?? And that WE ARE POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL.
So my friend, you may not like this but the reality is that YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN CHANGE ANYTHING! Right? Your drinker can change nothing and can only think of the next drink.
Remember the "the 3 C's"- this will save you a lot of heartache:
You didn't CAUSE IT, you CAN'T CONTROL IT, and you CAN'T CURE IT.
In Al-Anon we have learned that the fastest way bring some sanity into the home and to cause the drinker to start thinking about stopping, is to follow the steps as in the page entitled "A Different Approach".
My life was a mess until I found Al-Anon Family Group meetings in 2002 and by doing just what I learned at Al-Anon Family Group meetings, I found that I could cope better with the drinking and our house became a better place to live, even while my partner kept drinking. Eventually, with no pressure on her, she started to go to AA and gradually our lives improved.
Now you probably know of "AA" but what is this "Al-Anon" stuff - you have probably never heard of it!
Well on our next page we will talk about "How Al-Anon can Help". Meanwhile if you want to find out more about Al-Anon Family Groups, you can go to one of these websites to start:
AUSTRALIA http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/australia/
USA/CANADA http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
UK/EIRE http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
