HAPPY CHRISTMAS !

I wish my readers a very happy and peaceful Christmas season.

But sometimes, when we live with an active drinker, the festive season turns into an unhappy time, because of what the drinker does: drunk at the wrong time, arguments, turning guests off, and so forth.

Many people living with alcoholics find this and do not look forward to Christmas.

What can we do?

Accept that the drinker will drink and make plans accordingly. Maybe YOU can go out and leave the drinker home: after all, the only thing that interests the drinker is drinking.

Try to enjoy the good things that DO happen, and often pleasant things happen even in the bad times. Try to focus on YOURSELF and do some things that YOU enjoy. Forget about the drinker if you have to - just enjoy yourself.

And don't feel guilty about leaving the drinker to their own devices: you did not force the drinker to drink, that is THEIR choice. You can choose to do something pleasant.

Look for the good things that may happen, no matter how small: they will make you feel better.

Bless you all.

COME HOME TO FIND YOUR DRINKER OUT TO IT?

This happens to most of us: we come home only to find our loved one passed out drunk on the sofa, the floor, the bed or some other place.

We feel as if we have been hit in the stomach - winded, deflated, maybe angry: "He/she has been DRINKING AGAIN!" and maybe : "When in Hell is he/she going to stop??"

In the early days of living with and alcoholic, this is all too common an experience.

So WHAT DO WE DO?

ACCEPT that your loved one has lost control of drinking again.

Try to SETTLE DOWN and become CALM.  Maybe though we feel angry, so do something to work off the anger - go for a short walk - go punch a pillow (I mean it - this works off anger) but DO NOT HIT YOUR LOVED ONE.

THINK - he or she has lost control. They are really sick. Being angry will not help you nor them. Try to feel a bit of compassion - as you will learn later, they are suffering from a mental disease called alcoholism.

DO SOMETHING USEFUL for yourself - cook a meal or go out and get one - read the news or watch TV. Try to get your mind off the drinker. Read a book - write a letter- call a friend to chat.

READ the HELP PAGES over on the Right of this page - you will find useful information there.

And remember : YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Thousands of us have been through this AND SURVIVED.