DEALING WITH A BUST

Today I would like to talk about one of the most difficult times to deal with, when living with an alcoholic.

Often there are periods when your loved one does not drink, and you think that it's all over, it's finished.

And then for no apparent reason, the drinking starts again. OH  NO!!!

Your tummy sinks to the floor with that horrible empty feeling, you may feel anger and resentment rise up in you.  You feel like telling them off with angry words, or worse. Withdrawing love. Freezing over.

DOES  NOT  HELP  ONE  BIT.

The best thing to do is, try to accept it for what it is - another step along the road to their eventual (we hope) recovery.  Seldom I think does someone just stop drinking, it may take them lots of attempts.

Mostly a person who is TRYING to stop drinking will go for periods with no alcohol, then bust again.  This pattern may go on for some time until one day they find A REASON  TO  STOP  DRINKING.

Vent your anger in some other way - exercise or similar. Don't take it our on your drinker. That will only make their GUILT - yes they feel GUILT - about their drinking get worse. Try to remember they are suffering from a disease - could be diabetes or something else - and try to have some compassion.

What you CAN do is stop (if you are doing this) STOP covering up the mess so that they feel no consequences to their drinking. You are only prolonging their drinking - because if they see no damage from their drinking, WHY STOP?

YOU have to let the nasty things happen that follow from their drinking, so that they SEE what they've done. This won't stop them drinking, not yet, but it will start to dawn on them that they are causing problems. Of course I do not mean letting life threatening things, just the natural outcomes of their drinking. Let them wake up on the floor, not  tucked into bed by you. Let them wake up covered in vomit. Let their friends see them dead drunk. Let them get sacked. It's called TOUGH  LOVE. We let things happen so they will start to understand about consequences.  We give them a reason to think about stopping.

All of the above assumes that your drinker has reached the stage of wanting to stop drinking.  It's the biggest battle they will have in their life.

But if your dinker is happy to continue drinking, then you really must let them suffer the consequences of their drinking. It's not your problem - it's their problem.