WHEN DO I SEEK HELP?

We, who have lived with an alcohol abuser, know this question only too well.

Maybe you've tried everything to stop your loved one drinking, and maybe its only got worse.  The only thing the drinker seems to be interested in is - "When do I have the next drink!"  You are probably starting to feel lonely - your lovely partner or child is no longer the same - when they drink they become someone else; someone you really do not like. Perhaps you feel shame, or guilt (maybe it is my fault?) or anger.

But how bad does it have to get before you seek help?

If you can relate to any of the situations in the second paragraph, and you have tried everything you can think of to stop the drinking, you are probably there - you should seek help.

One of the things we first learn is: We didn't CAUSE it, we can't CONTROL it, and we can't CURE it.

Like me, we all come to realise that we cannot cope on our own - our life has become a shambles as we try to cope with the awful effects from someone's drinking.

You're there - decide today to do something to get help. You can read what I did in the 'Help' Pages over on the right hand side.

Believe me, what you are suffering, many of us have suffered too - but there IS help available. I am sure that just by reading the 'Help' Pages you will start to feel that there is hope for a better life for YOU.

You are not alone.

FEELING FRUSTRATED?

How frustrated we feel, living with an alcohol abuser. After a while we have tried everything to get them to stop - hiding or dumping alcohol, pleading with them, venting anger at them, but nothing changes.

Frustration soon turns to anger. Sometimes we feel righteous indignation.

None of this helps the drinker. In fact, picking up our emotions directed against him or her only makes them feel bad. The solution? Have another drink and blot it out for a while.

So we continue to suffer, we too heading around into a downward spiral of angry depression.

We need a new approach - this is what I had to find out the hard way.

How I did this is discussed over in the 'Help Pages' to the right.

If you have any comments about how useful you may have found these notes, please let me know.

One last thought for this week:    YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  

 There will be thousands of people just like you around the world, feeling angry, trapped and lonely.

I want you to know there is a way forward which many of us have found.

Read on.

LOVED ONE'S DRINKING OUT OF CONTROL ??

What a shock it is to realise that our loved one cannot stop drinking!

We become tense, watching every move they  make - looking for signs of drinking.  Maybe we find out that our drinker is trying to hide their drinking - then its a cat and mouse game of 'catch me if you can!'

A giant wedge is now driven between you and your loved one.  He or she prefers - yes prefers - to drink rather than consider you or spend time with you.  You have lost your loved one to alcohol.

What a dreadful shock it is to realise this - your loved one has become a stranger to you - someone you have never seen before.

We often react by trying to stop the drinking, by all sorts of means - destroying alcohol, withholding money, pouring alcohol down the drain, venting our anger, pleading, taking revenge.

Does any of this work?

Read what I found out about living with alcoholism over on the 'HELP PAGES'  to the right.

And please let me know if any of my work helps you - I would really like to know that.