In the early days when we become fully aware that our loved one puts the next drink ahead of us and any love for us, it hurts.
We may even become angry, sometimes even hating whom our loved one has become: a total stranger.
But when we seek help, one of the first things we learn is that our loved one is in the grip of a powerful disease: alcoholism. It could have been MS, or emphysema, or a heart serious condition. But it's not: it's alcoholism.
Alcoholism is that bad - in fact it is incurable. Think of that: it never leaves you once you have the disease: there is no cure - except total abstinence.
When we look at our loved one's drunkenness as the effects of a disease, gradually we can begin to feel some compassion: as we would for one of the other diseases mentioned above.
Our drinker has to learn to overcome the disease of alcoholism all by him/ her self: we cannot help one iota.
Think about that the next time you feel anger or resentment building up (as it does!) and it may help you avoid some nasty behaviour toward your loved one. I hope so, for losing our cool only makes the drinker feel worse. The antidote to which is: have another drink!
Try this sometime. Don't give your loved one a reason to reach for a drink! God Bless.
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