When we live with an alcohol abuser sometimes we cannot help "taking it out" on them - letting them know we are angry, hurt and thoroughly disgusted by their actions. I was the same - its "natural" to do this.
But I had to learn that all I was doing was giving the drinker MORE reasons to drink. I did not know that the drinker already was feeling bad by what the were doing, and here I was just making it worse. So naturally the thing to do was - have another drink to blot it all out.
Learning that they were in the grip of a terribly strong mental disease, I could begin to have some compassion for the plight of my drinker.
I had to learn to back off, "keep my mouth shut, my mind off the drinker, and my mitts off too". I had to learn to let the drinker find their own way along their journey, free of my haranging.
By taking our pressure off the drinker, they are left with their own actions to suffer from - not ours.
To see how my journey led me to these findings, read the "Help Pages" to the right,
and God Bless you.
We have been there too.
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