"Happy" New Year - with an alcohol abuser ???

This phrase that rolls off our tongue at this time of year - "Happy New Year!" - may seem very HOLLOW to those living with an active drinker, or alcoholic.

HOW could it be "Happy" ?  Everything is destroyed by your drinker!

Things DO NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

The teachings of the Al-Anon Family Groups have made a difference for thousands around the world, showing how to have some sort of decent life EVEN WHILE  LIVING  WITH  AN  ALCOHOLIC.

What teachings? The learning from experience by hundreds of people, distilled into understandable do-it-yourself terms which have helped me and thousands more.  These teachings came from EXPERIENCE, not books or some academic's head.

For instance:

• The alcoholic is destroying his or her life - that is THEIR CHOICE and you can do NOTHING about it.  They have to find a way to stop themselves drinking.
• BUT - YOUR LIFE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE DESTROYED TOO!

Think about this:

• You Can Choose Not to Be Destroyed too
  
• The secret is  -------  DETACHMENT from the DRINKING (NOT the drinker)

This means CHOOSING not to fret, get angry, take revenge, freeze over, or do whatever you do when your drinker hits the bottle again.

YOU can CHOOSE to do something different:

• Let the drinker do what they have to do - drink.
• Because YOU CANNOT get them to stop yourself
• Instead, look for ways to do something for YOURSELF that will make your life better for the day
• Maybe you have to try to do something else for an hour at a time at first, until you get used to the idea
• It means TAKING YOUR ATTENTION OFF THE DRINKER
• AND ONTO YOURSELF.
• Try to do things that you like to do - call a friend or relative, visit someone, get back to that hobby, read, have a bath, have a massage, get a hair job, anything that is for YOU.

SOUNDS SELFISH?

Remember : we are now talking about your SURVIVAL as a rational human being - this is an attempt at retaining YOUR SANITY!

Living with an alcoholic forces us to appreciate the simple things and pleasures of life, that we often take for granted.

BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE AROUND YOU.

FOCUS ON THESE THINGS - NOT YOUR DRINKER!

WHAT's AL-ANON?

Look into those HELP pages and you will find out - that's where I got help and survived living with an active drinker.