LET THE CONSEQUENCES HAPPEN

One of the things we all do when we struggle to live with an alcohol abuser is to hide all the awful things that happen when our loved one is drunk.

This is only natural: we are so ashamed that we try to cover things up from the view of others. Vomit on the floors; urine where it should not be; our loved on lying on the floor or out in the yard; our loved one going out badly dressed or even naked; crashing the car; falling over in public; yelling abuse at friends: I have seen or heard about all of these things.

We may phone up with an excuse when our loved one is too drunk to go to work; we may have to break dinner engagements due to our loved one's drunkenness; there seems to be endless situations that we may have to cope with.

But as we learn more about the disease of alcoholism, we learn that sometime or other, we have to let our drinker suffer the consequences of their drinking.  This may mean they lose their job, their friends, their children.

But as long as we cover up the nasty stuff, the drinker has no reason to think about stopping. After all, if they can drink and the world does not stop, then what's the problem?

Or to  put it another way: by covering up the mess our drinker makes, how are they going to see the mess that they are making of everyone's lives around them? Including their own!

Drinkers often need a reason to think about stopping the alcohol abuse.  We need to help them see a reason.

We have to learn this 'letting the consequences happen' , and this is one of the things I had to learn.  My journey is outlined in the 'Help Pages' - I hope you find some help too.