HOW DO I DEAL WITH MY RESENTMENT?

Feeling resentful is something we commonly feel, we who live with an alcohol abuser. Maybe we were angry, or felt deeply hurt, and very often this turns into RESENTMENT.

We feel resentful that the drinker is hurting US so much - or resentful about all the good times we are missing out on because of their drinking - or resentful that it is happening to us,(why me?) Or resentful that our lives have been turned upside-down, made into a real mess.  It is common for us to feel resentful toward the drinker.

The bad news for us is that feeling resentful does us more harm, on top of what the drinker is doing to us. Hanging on to negative feelings such as anger, hate, revenge or resentment work against our peace of mind and if kept up for long enough will begin to cause us some physical problems. Negative emotions can harm us.

So what can we do?

We have to move past the feelings of resentment.  How?

One way is to remember that our drinker is suffering from a disease - we have discussed this earlier, but it is true. The drinker is NOT doing this to hurt us - he or she is under the control of a powerful drug that is twisting their mind.

So if it's a disease, it's like our loved one had MS, or an ulcer, or Aids - self inflicted perhaps, but none-the-less a disease.  SO -

As it IS a disease, cannot we feel some compassion for them?  We could feel compassion if it was say MS, so why not if it is Alcoholism?

Some people have this weakness for alcohol - they cannot handle it and it gradually takes control of their mind.  Think of this:

IT COULD BE ME!

Had you ever thought that YOU could be just as affected by alcohol as your drinker? But for a quirk of genetic fate, YOU could be an alcoholic too.

Given the above, can you now see a reason to feel some compassion for your drinker? 

And then think about :

FORGIVENESS.

Because my friend, FORGIVENESS is the antidote to destructive Resentment.

Please think about this and try to find some forgiveness in your heart for your alcoholic.  You cannot approve of what they are doing, but you can learn to forgive them.

This step of FORGIVENESS is the first step to our own recovery, to get us out of the dreadful and destructive merry-go-round of anger- resentment - anger.

I hope that you find this helpful.  And I thank those of you who  are following my blog - it helps me keep going, knowing that I may be helping someone out there in the wide world somewhere. 

May God Bless YOU all.